Age: 33
Postmark: Oklahoma
This week...
"There once was a ________ named _______, and he/she/it had the most _______ teeth."
Rules: (a) that's your first line
(b) should be a fairy tale (or parody of fairy tale)
(c) should be long enough to tell a story, but short enough to squeeze onto the back of a big postcard
(d) no repeats (on the fill-in the blanks)
There once was a creature named Anuper Scooper, and he had the most average teeth imaginable. Now I know that you think you have seen average teeth before, but you have not seen them till you see Anuper Scooper’s. The odd thing about Anuper Scooper is that he never needs to brush his teeth. There has been much speculation as to why he is able to have such average tooth health without brushing. It is believed that he sold his adult teeth to the tooth fairy. Many years ago when he was much younger he hated having to brush his teeth, so one night he stayed up until the early morning hours to meet the tooth fairy. He knew she would eventually arrive to get his baby tooth that dislodged itself earlier in the day. When she arrived by his bed, he sat up and offered her a deal. He proposed that he would all the teeth in his adult mouth to not have to brush his teeth again. Now the tooth fairy, a greedy creature took this deal with no complaints. So since that night till today, Anuper Scooper has not brushed his teeth or went to the dentist, and he still has the most average teeth. The only problem with this is that the tooth fairy never told him when she would come back for his adult teeth.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a gnome named Mainchin, and he had the most hairy teeth. When he was a child he never brushed his teeth, so the Tooth Fairy put a curse on Mainchin. Every time that he forgets to brush his teeth after a meal, hair begins to grow from every tooth. Because Mainchin had such a bad habit of forgetting to brush his teeth he often ends up with inches of hair growing out of his mouth. When it came time for his senior prom he found that it was very difficult to find a date and he couldn’t figure out why. It was a week before the prom and Mainchin still did not have a date. He was about to give up hope and decided to go to McDonalds to eat his sorrows away and grow some more tooth hair. While he was at McDonalds, Mainchin saw something that he never expected to. There was a girl gnome in the corner eating chicken McNuggets with hair flowing out of her mouth. He knew she was the one. He walked over to her, started eating as their hair grew longer, and asked her to prom. The next week, they had the time of their lives.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a clown named BoBo, and he had the most horrific teeth. BoBo was not just any ordinary circus clown. In fact, they referred to him as BoBo the class clown. His nickname was adopted in the seventh grade when BoBo decided to brush his teeth only once a month in order to start saving money on toothpaste. This nonsense began when BoBo realized that he needed to save up another forty-two dollars so that he had enough money to purchase his dream sneakers. Two years later in the ninth grade, BoBo only saved up eighteen dollars and his teeth began to decay and resemble the teeth of a pig. People would walk past him in the hallway, see him smile and chuckle. His response was typically a simple, “Oink Oink.” He began to appreciate all the attention he was receiving, however, he couldn’t understand why he did not have a single friend or girlfriend. He concluded that his horrific teeth were his only friends because they made him the most popular kid in school. Moreover, when Halloween rolled around BoBo realized that he could save money by not purchasing a costume because he was his own costume. All he had to do was smile. After saving merely fifty dollars on not purchasing tooth paste and a costume, BoBo was ready to buy his sneakers. However, his mother told him it was time to visit his best friend’s worst enemy, the dentist. Looks like his piggy bank will be spent on filling his thirty-two cavities.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a young boy named Kyle, and he had the most colorful teeth. Kyle was a very greedy child and wanted everything he laid his eyes on. The problem was that Kyle's family was very poor and could barely afford to put food on the table. Kyle did not believe in stealing from others, so he devised a plan that he thought was ingenious. He decided to trick the tooth fairy by making a fake tooth every night and putting it under his pillow. The tooth fairy was clever though, and noticed Kyle's antics on the first night. She woke Kyle up and proposed a deal. She told him that for every time he tricks or lies to some one, or if he is ungrateful or greedy, one of his teeth would turn a random color. However, if he goes an entire day without being greedy or ungrateful, three of his teeth would turn to pure gold, fall out, and would immediately be replaced with three new white teeth. Kyle, who was only focused on the thought of gold at that time, accepted the tooth fairy's offer without hesitation. Kyle fell asleep as fast as he could, eager to earn his three gold teeth the next day. What Kyle did not realize that night was that the tooth fairy had tricked him. Whenever Kyle would try to be grateful for what he had, he would be doing so for the gold teeth, thus making him greedy. Kyle spent the rest of his life with multicolored teeth.
ReplyDeleteclever way to deliver the message. it sounds like a real fairy tale. i like it.
DeleteI agree, Andy. This one had a nice dark twist to it, like old-school, pre-Disney fairy tales.
DeleteThere once was a cheese ball named Chell, and it had the most magical teeth. It was the size of a bottle cap and it was said that if Chell was placed in a mouth, the cheese ball would automatically be digested. Magical powers in the cheese ball would wake a person up, who was under a spell.
ReplyDeleteBecause Snow White was tricked by her step-mother to eat a poisonous apple that had a potion in it, the only way she could wake up was if her Prince Charming came to her and put the cheese ball in her mouth. As Prince Charming traveled through land over the year, he came across Snow White and instantly fell in love with her because she was just so beautiful and simple: the only problem was that she would not wake up. He learned through the seven dwarfs that he needed to find Chell. He traveled the world, was a part of dangerous encounters, but right before he went into another crazy adventure, he finally learned Chell the cheese ball was right under Snow White. Prince Charming went under her and put the Chell in her mouth. Before you knew it, the magical teeth did its job and she woke up.
Prince Charming and Snow White lived happily after thanks to Chell the cheese ball.
There once was a gear named Bethalny, and she had the most perfect teeth. Now in Gearville, having straight, well-spaced teeth was all that a gear could ask for. A well-proportioned gear could spin and turn with the most efficiency. Bethalny had this natural born gift. She could work well with anyone, effortlessly spinning more smoothly than the others. While they all had to repair and clean their teeth, Bethalny did not. It was because of her talent that Bethalny was chosen by the king to replace one of the elders. Her new job was in one of the toughest positions in the land – main gear in the clock tower. Bethalny gladly stepped up to the plate. “This task is nothing for a gear of my caliber,” she bragged. “That may be so,” remarked the king, “but even the best gears must put forth effort to keep their teeth in working order.” Bethalny laughed and began to turn the clock. “I’m not going to clean my teeth,” she thought to herself. And she didn’t. But it wasn’t long before oil built up on her once perfect teeth. It became so thick after only a few days, that Bethalny fell ill and could no longer turn. She had to step down from her position of honor. So clean your teeth, or you will be sorry!
ReplyDeleteThere once was a fierce warrior named Azan, and he had the most ferocious teeth. In the land of Dentailia, a war raged on between the artificial beings and the Dentalites. Battles were fought in mouth-to-mouth combat, and the Azan fought tooth and nail every day to keep his family safe. He was born with teeth that had such great strength that they were compared to those of the ancient god, Colgate. However, the enemy had power; they had technology. They had motorized drillers, plaque grenades, and even utilized biological warfare techniques such as gingivitis bombs. As the war became more violent, the king bestowed his family Crest upon Azan, giving him more protection from the evil attackers. Alas, the evil kept growing. They kept coming back stronger and stronger, and Azan’s teeth were fighting a losing battle. The scientists in Dentalia were working on a new device that could change the whole course of the world. A chewable synthetic that chilled teeth to steel them against the enemy, code named Dentyne ICE, was tested on Azan because it was believed that his teeth could handle anything. Azan’s teeth reacted beautifully with the ICE and his teeth were more than rejuvenated, they were indestructible. He blew the enemy away once they got within 10 feet of him. The war was won, and the golden years of Dentalia began.
ReplyDeleteAzan is long since gone, but his finest incisor rests above the Crest on the castle’s mantle piece. Now they can see Azan shine every day.
i like how you built in a lot of references to different brands of dental care supplies, i imagined the products fighting the war
DeleteThank you, sir
DeleteAuthor's note:
DeleteAzan came home from battle every day at 2:30.
I can imagine your editor calling you into his office...and when you get in there, you see about 75 sneaky, rat-faced lawyers...and they say: "We LOVE your story! Now, about the name of the realm...we focus-grouped it and..."
DeleteWell done!
I already talked to them, it's free promotion for their products!
DeleteOnce there was an artist named Abby and she had the most beautiful teeth. She was a very organic and healthy person so she was always eating nutritious foods. After a many many years of eating extremely healthy foods she had forgotten what candy and sweets even tasted like. So out of nowhere she gave up on her health streak and decided she was strictly going to eat candy from now on because she had loved it so much. This candy had an effect on her teeth. They were no longer the beautiful white color they had always been. Now her teeth were yellow and rotten. She was so embarrassed to go out into public and smile because before she had always shown off her pearly white smile to everyone. She then realized that she could no longer live like this so she decided to paint her teeth white before she would go out into public so people would no think any less of her. They would never no her beautiful teeth were no longer there. She did this for years upon years and finally one day she decided she did not care what people thought of her so she no longer painted her teeth and went out in public as the person who she really is and lived happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteOnce there was a zipper named Zan and he had the best-oiled teeth. Unfortunately for Zan, this meant that Zan never got to eat. Every morning when his feeder zipped up her jacket, Zan prayed that she would get a phone call while getting ready so she would be distracted while zipping and therefore clumsily get a bit of nylon caught in his beautiful black teeth. But she never did. Zan’s teeth were in such good condition that if something was even remotely close to his teeth, the smooth teeth would allow it to slide right past and Zan would disappointedly continue up. Occasionally, something would actually get caught in Zan’s teeth and oh my goodness, how excited he would be. He thought, “Oh! The taste of 100% nylon with 60mm acrylic – yum.” However, before Zan even got to think ‘nylon’ the delicious fabric would slither out and away from Zan.
ReplyDeleteZan continued going hungry all through the winter while his feeder wore the puffy coat, until one day it was spring. That meant that for the next 8 months, Zan would not even have a chance of eating. Zan knew that he needed to get fabric immediately, to even have the remote possibility of surviving the attic. Oh yes, the attic. The place where all good, warm winter coats go to dry out, be eaten by moths and get dripped on. The attic scared Zan especially because he knew that many zippers cracked in the attic from lack of fabric. As it slowly grew warmer and warmed Zan began twisting his pull tab and misaligning his box and pin. He knew that these physical changes would be detrimental to him in the long run, but he also recognized that if he did not survive the rest of the seasons, there would be no long run.
Zan tried and tried and tried to get a bite of the fabric. He was not biting at so much that his feeder would notice, just enough that he could suck some of the nutrients out of the fabric. Finally, one morning he got a bit, but it was a bit too much and Zan was so hungry that he could not let go of it. His teeth latched onto the nylon and never released. Zan’s feeder pulled and tugged on the fabric to free it from Zan’s teeth until the smooth nylon ripped. Now the jacket had a huge hole and would never be worn again. Zan’s feeder was devastated as it was her favorite jacket; however, she was looking forward to buying a new spring jacket while taking off her old winter coat. Zan was just happy that he would be able to dig his teeth into the nylon for the rest of his life. He may not be loved by his feeder any longer, but Zan would always be well nourished and happy. Never again would Zan have to betray his feeder just to fill his chain.
There once was a polar bear named Pat, and he had the most gnarly teeth. Gnarly teeth you ask? Well Polar Bear Pat is a surfer of course. The ice caps are melting and the ice is breaking apart, so how else is he supposed to survive? He had to make a surfboard of course. He found a long, not too thin, too not thick, and not too wide chunk of ice that had broken off and was lying close to shore. Polar Bear Pat dragged it farther on land with his teeth that were not so gnarly yet. He had seen what a surfboard looked like from a piece a ripped out magazine article floating through the water exposed between the cracks of the ice. But how could he transform a block of ice into a surfboard? His claws are rather sharp, he thought as he remembered the seal he had just caught earlier that day. Thus he began clawing away at the ice, first his left forepaw, then his right. However, Pat noticed his claws were getting dull fast and he really needed those to catch his prey and eat. What else could he use? There were no sharp tools around, plus without thumbs, he could not grasp things to easily for the sake of carving ice. What else was sharp and pointy? A Narwhal’s horn! But they are so scary! He wouldn’t know how to either befriend them to help him carve his surfboard or break off one of their horns without starting a ruckus. Then Polar Bear Pat thought, what about my sharp teeth? And he began gnawing away at the ice. The fact that the ice was continuing to melt ever so slowly helped him shape the block of ice without much of a struggle. He kept working and carving away and within a few hours, a gleaming, white surfboard laid before his eyes. Excitedly, Pat took his surfboard to the water and lay his belly down on it with ease. After he was stable on his icy surfboard, he began paddling slowly on the channels between the chunks of ice. Polar Bear Pat became the first surfer of the Artic – with gnarly, pearly whites that match his surfboard and his new “hang-ten” style too!
ReplyDeleteThere once was a wizard named Isley, and he had the brightest teeth. In the kingdom of Runith his teeth were second to none. His teeth shone like the night stars, it was brighter than even the mighty knight’s most polished armor. How could teeth be so bright and shining you ask? Well it’s simple, Isley is a wizard, and an extraordinary one at that. Isley has focused all his magic might into making his the envy of the kingdom. He soon learned that no one envied him in fact he grew to be shunned by the fellow inhabitance, you see his teeth were to bright and would blind anyone who saw when he smiled. The people of Runith forced Isley out of the kingdom and exiled him, only allowing him to return if his teeth were no as bright. The wizard refused to let his prized teeth fade so he set out to the wilderness. After a week the wizard realized how lonely he was and that his magic teeth were no substitution for friends. Isley removed the spell and headed back to his former kingdom. Upon arrival he was welcome with open arms. Isley learned that his teeth did not make him great and feel important, but rather people and friends did. Isley still had bright teeth, even without magic, but now he also had friends, and that is what truly should be valued.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a dog name Ada, and she had strongest teeth. Ada was the head lumberjackdog for the most vast and dense forests in the world. It was more of an abyss than a forest, any spirit that entered would surely never return. Years ago when she arrived at the edge of the abyss she seemed lost and confused about how she ended up there. Recalling memories that seemed to happen just yesterday she could not understand how quickly she became so lost and disoriented. She recalled the memory when she was patrolling her own forests as a pup. Walking through the woods she latched onto the trunk of a tree with only her teeth, as if to prove to all other trees that she was in control of the forest and would trim the fat as she pleased. The other trees were not fond of this but they saw the importance of her teeth. Her strong teeth were only the tip of the iceberg when one thought about how strong she was as a whole. The trees saw this and respected her as higher being, able to take the lives of trees as she saw fit. She tugged and tugged on the tree until finally he became weak and bent over. She tugged some more, asserting all her strength through her teeth and into the bark of the tree. Then, the trunk snapped, the tree had died, falling helplessly to the ground. Ada was happy, she was following her heart and fulfilling her duties as forest patrol dog. Standing at the edge, still confused about where she is exactly. "Ada" she hears, she turns her head. "Ada," she turns her head again. Who is calling me she thinks to herself. "Ada help us" said the trees. "Could it be?" she thought to herself, "are these trees calling me just like the ones I used to know?" This gave her comfort in the midst of all the confusion. But Ada knew if she walked closer and into the abyss that she would never return, but she realized how badly these trees needed her. There were many old and weak trees in the cramped abyss of a forest. There needed to be room for the younger ones to grow and flourish. The trees needed Ada and Ada needed the forest. "Ada please help us. We know who you are, we've seen your work, and you're the only one strong enough to tear us down when we need to be torn down." Ada wasn't certain about the future but she knew there was no getting to the past. Into the forest she walked, her soul however, laid upon the edge of the abyss.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a cat named Brandy and she had the most grotesque teeth. They were yellow, full of cavities, and smelled much like baleen rotting in a whale's mouth. Her favorite activities were hunting for mice and playing with her owner but due to her mouth's terrible smell, she failed at both. Mice could smell her for miles away and had time to run before she ever reached them. Her owner ignored her, maintaining their distance to keep from the terrible smell. One day while hunting for mice, she finally came upon one. Brandy snuck up from behind ready to pounce when she realized she had no idea what to do. She had never gotten to this point in the hung, had never even seen a mouse this close and had no idea what to do. She did what she thought was appropriate and walked in front of the mouse to say hello. "Hi I'm Brandy" she said. "I'm Mike" the mouse replied. "What are you doing here Mike?" Brandy asked curious as to why he hadn't fled with the other mice. "Well, everyone said they were headed to the pond. They wanted to get a horrible smell out from their noses. They went to smell the flowers there." Mike replied. "Why didn't you go with them?" asked Brandy. "I don't like the pond." Mike said, "it's cold and wet and besides, I can't smell anything anyway." "What do you mean you can't smell anything?" "Well I only have three senses. I can't taste or smell anything. But I really don't think that those senses are very important." Mike said. "Do you want to play?" asked Brandy. And he did. Brandy and Mike would play hide and seek for hours. Brandy finally got to learn to hunt mice, even if it was only for sport. Having a friend made her realize that good animals and people can look past the flaws she had and learn to love her just the way she was. It shouldn't matter that she had terrible breath, it should only matter that she was a kindhearted cat that wanted to love and be loved in return.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a man from Nantucket named Steve, and he had the most awful looking teeth. No one would play, because he was made that way so he created a world in his head that rhymed. Each day, although everyone would stay away, he would create an adventure. Sometimes naughty, sometimes nice, no one was ever repeated twice. With his imagination at play, it took him far away from the world that scorned his life. In his mind he had a wife and nice little life, till his daughter stabbed him in the back with a knife. Nan, ran away with a man took the cash in Pa’s can and ran far away from Nantucket. She went all the way to Pawtucket, where Steve imagination had no jurisdiction. With his imaginary hopes dashed, he became a bit brash and just said oh, forget such things. The next limerick he made was worlds away, from the sweet wife and the daughter with the knife. Steve decided to be the man from Nantucket who’s cock was so loud in the mornings that he could no longer dream about fanciful things like life with perfect teeth. So he woke up with a fright and even more terrifying began to live his life, and despite his teeth eventually it was all alright. He became a dentist.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a henchman named Harold, and he had the most indestructible teeth. Originating from Korea, he was best known for his remarkable strength (he can crush a golf ball in one) and most importantly his distinct smile. Although he didn’t smile often when he did, it could not be mistaken. He preformed oddjobs for his employer like chauffeuring, golf caddying, and other tasks without difficulty. A byproduct of his obedient personality was that he was man of few words; however, his smile almost always made up for it. He always dressed in an all black suit accented by a thick brimmed bowler hat that only he could pull off; his keen sense of style didn’t seem to catch on with the ladies. He was an immense physical specimen and never met a man or a game in which he could not beat.
ReplyDeleteHowever, that all changed when he met James. James was a cunning, smart, and handsome business associate of Harold’s boss. Although James was not as strong or well versed in the games they played, he almost always found a way to win. Harold soon became jealous and envied James’s uncanny ability to win. So, like any good henchman, Harold challenged James to a duel. The battle royal took place soon after and from the start Harold seemed to have the match in hand. No matter what James threw at him, Harold never so much as flinched. But just as soon as his grin began to grow and the feeling of victory began to sink in, he was overcome with shock and unfortunately for him James won once again.
There once was a cat named Jack and he had the whitest, strongest teeth in all the land. Every where Jack went he would impress people by showing how strong his teeth were by biting things that no normal being could bite through. He would also show off how whit his teeth were by smiling and almost blinding people with his teeth. No one knew why Jack had such a special set of teeth. His secret was that there was a magic well of milk that he had stumbled upon when he was a child. Jack didn't want anyone finding out about his well. He was very famous and didn't want to tarnish his reputation. Jack went on for years and years drinking milk from the well every day thinking nothing of it. Until one day the well ran dry and jack had no more magic milk to make his teeth white and strong. After the well dried up Jacks teeth began to become yellower and yellower and weaker and weaker. This trend continued until Jacks teeth looked as if they hadn't been cleaned in decades. Jacks fame faded until no one knew who he was anymore and he lived the rest of his life in recluse because of his shame of his ugly teeth.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a spider named Hairy and he had the most poisonous teeth. He was well known by all the other spiders in the land because he could incapacitate his prey in one bite every time. There was nothing that escaped his web. He was very proud of his poisonous teeth and had all the food he could want. The only problem is that he was lonely. He wanted a girl spider to share his food with. One day a lovely girl spider named Tina saw Hairy catch a giant moth with his teeth. Hairy saw that Tina was impressed and offered to share the moth with her. While they were eating, Hairy become so infatuated with Tina that he leaned over to kiss her. She saw this and leaned in to kiss back. But as they kissed his teeth touched her lips and she died instantly because his teeth were so poisonous. He went on to live the rest of his life in solitude. He was destined to be alone.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a boy named Keith, who had the most revolting teeth. He lived in a town where it was illegal to frown, where the one with the most beautiful teeth, always ended up wearing the crown.
ReplyDeleteHe trudged through village with the teeth of a monster, like nothing anyone has seen. He walked home unhappy, no sun in his sky, getting weird looks from those who passed by. His eleven-foot body went with his his eleven sharp teeth, daggers that received horrid stares. He got to his house, which he shared with a mouse, whose room was beneath the stairs. And while he hated to smile, there no way to evade, the law and technology’s harsh glair.
The day he had enough was the day perceptions changed, the day he realized appearance and personality are not the same. He felt that strangers should not be judged, by their looks, their class or their hair. Not with out confrontation, a handshake, or at least a simple “Hey there”.
Keith concluded that life had to change, that people should not be so quick to judge. That teeth and looks don’t matter as much, and to judgment people should not budge. He found his pride that fateful day, which made him confidently smile and say, “I love the way I look. So just take a minute along with a second look, and learn that there is more than the front cover, to my life’s incredible book.”
So smile big, and never feel week, and never forget keep your grin cheek to cheek. Be confidant and never give up, it is your change to make your life fair. Meet people, smile and love the life you live no matter the teeth or the hair. Keith tried it one day and loved it so much, and knew it would be liked and should be shared. So now is moment to hold your breath, and make a change, no matter your teeth or your hair.
There once was a girl named Jenna, who had the most perfect straight teeth I had ever seen. She lived in a world where it was expected to dress perfectly, physically look perfect.
ReplyDeleteJenna was on a constant diet or so she said because she idolized models and wanted to become one. Well she did not manage to hold those expectations on herself really at all. She is so tall and just so beautiful and dresses so differently that you would expect in your book she could do no wrong. However with Jenna that was not entirely correct. As amazing as she looked, the whole dieting plan did not go well.
She would tell you constantly I can't eat that I'm on a diet, but would end up eating it anyway. It was a part of like daily routine for her to be on this diet avoiding all non healthy foods. She and her friends would go out to eat and say she couldn't eat those certain foods and would eat it in the end. She would go to a friend's house oh I can't eat that but then she'd see something that looked really delicious and couldn't contain herself. There goes her diet.
However how you view these opinions is not what counts. What matters is their personality who they are as a friend and as a person is what is most important. Regardless of whether she is on a diet or she can't prevent herself from avoiding eating what she is not supposed to. That should not matter because her heart open to people is what makes her so special.
Never allow anyone to judge you unfairly based on these little factors in your life. Allow who you are to come out and allow people to get to see the real you that is all they could really want from you.
There once was a fairy named Talia and she had the most sublime teeth. Her teeth were not only the points of pride for her own vanity, but also for her wealthy family and for her fairy village. Every morning Talia would wake up and brush her teeth for at least half an hour, floss for five minutes, and diligently rinse with the fairy equivalent of Listerine for a full ten minutes. It was painful, yes, but her teeth were the most important thing that belonged to her. After each meal she would repeat this ritual, and before bed at night she would use her special fairy retainer to ensure her pearly whites remained perfectly aligned.
ReplyDeleteFor all the perfection of Talia’s teeth, though, she quickly grew vain. While for years her teeth had earned her praise, her pride and arrogance soon lost her the attention she had so adored. While her father and twelve sisters ate dinner at night she would not listen to the family conversation, but instead would stare at her teeth in her spoon, ensuring after each bite of fairy stew that there was nothing stuck between her perfect, perfect teeth. At fairy school, while the other fairies fluttered above the playground, she would stare at her reflection in the brook or a window. Her vanity earned her enemies, particularly one in the fairy witch Clarinda. Clarinda had the most hideous teeth, mossy and pointy, and was reminded of this daily the nasty Talia. Clarinda, like Talia, was friendless. Clarinda came up with a plot, however, to change her loneliness and to take revenge on her sworn enemy.
Skilled in witchcraft, Clarinda approached Talia one day as she looked at her reflection in the brook.
Seeing Clarinda’s reflection behind her own, Talia sneered “What do you want, you green-toothed witch?”
Clarinda snapped her fingers and suddenly there were multiple splashes in the brook. Talia was shocked, and opened her mouth to find herself staring at gums, and nothing but gums. With a shriek, she turned to find Clarinda grinning wickedly at her. Talia plunged into the brook to search for her fallen beautiful teeth, but they were nowhere to be found.
Talia searched for days and nights for her teeth, and for the evil Clarinda, but neither were to be found. Eventually, Talia decided she would have to find other teeth. Using her family’s wealth, she decided to bribe human children with the exchange for their fallen teeth for money. They would leave their teeth under their pillows and, in the dead of night, Talia would fly in and make the stealthy switch. She lived forever this way, toothless, but constantly adding human teeth to her collection in replacement of the sublime fairy teeth that had once belonged to her.
There once was a jester named Evan, and he had the most crooked teeth. So crooked, in fact, that it appeared that each individual tooth was competing to get to the front of his mouth, fighting for attention. Poor young Evan tried everything to hide his teeth. He would go to great lengths to avoid smiling or laughing, which was very difficult, seeing as he was a jester. One evening, Evan was brought into the kingdom to perform for a young queen in an attempt to brighten her spirits. This young queen was notorious for having a sour disposition. It even was rumored that she was incapable of smiling. Well, as Evan was performing, he happened to trip over his own feet, and as he did this, a loud yelp emitted from his gaping mouth. The entire audience, including the young queen, saw his jagged, crooked teeth. A slow smile began to creep onto the queen’s mouth. The sly smile evolved into a hearty laugh, exposing her own jagged, crooked teeth. Everyone in the room was silent, save for a few gasps at the sight of her showing an emotion other than bitterness. It became apparent that she had been attempting to hide her own teeth all along. Evan saw the queen’s mouth, and began laughing as well. From that day on, the queen and the jester were the best of friends.
ReplyDeleteI really like this story and the moral. It also shows that crooked teeth create open situations where people can get to know each other (according to Goffman).
DeleteThere once was a unicorn named Gregor McGregor, and he had the most rainbow teeth. This was because he loved to eat skittles. Every meal was skittles; he even ground skittles up in his blender and drank it instead of water or milk or juice. Gregor McGregor was so desperate to have skittles that sometimes he took skittles from other creatures, big and small. The unicorns were having a shortage of skittles, you see, and only the meanest unicorns prevailed -- the 1%. Gregor McGregor was part of the 1%, mostly because he did not mind snatching skittles out of the hooves of his brethren. The other unicorns slowly lost their colorful teeth because all they had to eat was sugar cubes. Their white teeth showed their miserly existence.
ReplyDelete"Ho ho ho, I will rule all the unicorns with my rainbow magic teeth," cried Gregor McGregor one day as he raised his hooves to the air. The others did not share this sentiment. They banded together with the phoenixes and the sphnixes and all the other creatures whose skittles had been taken away in the great skittle depression and demanded free skittles to rain from the sky. Gregor McGregor used his Rainbow Lightening to break up the riots (powered by the skittles), but the revolters struck back with pillow fights and loaded marshmallow canons. The revolutionaries were weak with lack of skittles, and eventually fell. Gregor McGregor became the Major General Secretary Head of Magic Land. The land wept at their measly provision of one skittle per day while the Major General Secretary Head of Magic Land feasted on a ridiculously large amounts of candy.
This did not last too long though. Gregor McGregor overloaded on sugar in his hundredth year of rule and flew to the sky. He did not return from the sugar rush to the moon, and the land rejoiced once more as skittles manufacturers cropped up all over Magic Land to supply skittles to all.
There once was a tomato named Tom, and he had the most crimson teeth. Really, all of him was rather rosy-colored, as he was a very ripe and healthy tomato. Tom was borne to the bottom of the vine, the lowest rung on the trellis. In his verdurous youth, he glanced upward at his maturing peers basking all day in at the full sun. Tom only felt the sun a very few hours of the day. Not only was he often shivering on his vine, but when the gardener strolled through his garden, he would reach to see the tomatoes above him as well, and when he beheld them, he would smile. But Tom was never reached for. Tom never felt he gardener’s touch, and never made him smile. And day after day, this went on.
ReplyDeleteAs the months progressed, Tom and his neighbors grew in stature and color. These days, when the gardener would pass through the garden, he would take a tomato into his hand, smile as he always did, and occasionally pick it. The tomatoes all wanted to be picked next; to move on from their training ground to find where their eventual purpose lay.
Tom, dirty from mud splatter of rain near the earth, wanted to be picked so very much, but he knew that in his filthy state, he would not be picked. But one special morning, just as the sun was beginning to dawn on Tom's higher neighbors, the gardener took his walk in the morning mist. And he reached for many of the tomatoes, smiled as always. But this day, as his feet were mere inches from Tom's crimson teeth, the gardener paused and stooped down, reaching for Tom. He gardener took Tom into his hand, wiped away the grime with his thumb, smiled, and picked him. As the gardener took Tom into his hand, he looked him over, still smiling and continuing to wipe away the mud. The gardener gazed at Tom lovingly as a father and called Tom excellent. Soon, he was taken away to some new place, briskly washed and with only a slight moment of respite, he found himself filleted and sitting on table, before his gardener. Despite his grime, he had been chosen for the gardener's own table. And as his life came to an acidic conclusion, he knew that he had fulfilled a very special purpose, and despite his grime, the gardener still found him to be excellent.
There once was a squirrel named Klaine, and he had the most crooked front teeth. Ever since birth, his teeth were rough and crooked, aligned like a triangle and sometimes an X. His mother always worried over him. She wondered how he would be able to feed himself, how his siblings would treat him, how and most importantly how he could survive when he had to leave.
ReplyDeleteKlaine’s mother paid extra special attention to him and taught him everything she knew about survival hoping that her son would survive at least 3 months by himself. Soon the time came, and she had to let her arch toothed leave and fend for himself.
As Klaine climbed down from his mother’s tree den, his mother thought he seemed careless about the fact that he is at a disadvantage compared to the other squirrels. He waved goodbye to her with nothing more than the sadness of parting in his eyes.
Klaine planned out his life like any other squirrel. Find a home and find food. He found a home about 50 yards away from his mother’s den. On a foraging trip he came across a cat, who began to chase after him. He escaped the cat but was still hungry and found that there was no food he could eat near his home. So he snuck back to where he had found the cat, saw that the cat was nowhere to be seen and began his foraging again.
What Klaine did not see was the cat he had just encountered steaking up behind him. As he ate, it krept, and crept closer and closer behind him until Klaine could faintly feel the cats body heat. Klaine turned around dropped the nut he was eating, frizzled his tail hair, and opened his mouth wide just like his mother taught him. He thought it would scare the cat but instead the cat started to laugh. The cat laughed hard, so hard Klaine was able to sneak away. The cat was not laughing at Klains defense pose, the cat was laughing at the state of lucky Klaine’s teeth. As it turns out despite what his mother believed, his crooked teeth turned out to be a great asset for his survival.
There once was a superhero named Bill Johnmeyer, he had the most powerful teeth. He walked the streets by day as a man named John Billemeyer; but secretly took the identity of Bill Johnmeyer whenever the city of Philadelphia called in need of help. He fought for justice against all kinds of bad guys and criminals, from murderers, rapists, thieves, and super villains to liars, drug addicts, and j walkers. Bill was the most amazing superhero Philly had ever seen, fighting crime with his massive and powerful teeth. His bite was the main attack, but he was also an eighth degree black-belt in several forms of martial arts. John was an everyday guy who worked his nine-to-five job at a local dentist office; but ever since he put his head through the revolving x-ray machine at his office one too many times, he had gained a sixth sense for crime and crooked teeth. Bill gained his fame through a battle with Philly's most notorious drug dealer "Gillie Da Kid." He was the worst of the worst; serving mothers, brothers, and kids all types of drugs, killing innocent people, and robbed many. Gillie came to Bill's attention after a good friend of Bill was killed in a drive-by shooting committed by no other than Gillie himself; Bill made it his top priority to avenge his friends death. It took weeks to hunt him down, but once Bill found him, it was all over. Bill bit Gillie with the most ferocious bite he had ever given, ripping Gillie's full arm off. Bill then apprehended the criminal at the scene in front of a gathering crowd who cheered him on. Gillie was sent to life in prison for his ruthless acts, and Philadelphia has been known as the safest city in the U.S. ever since! Bill was one of the greatest superheroes mankind had ever seen and will remain known around the globe for the rest of history.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a cat named Peter Pan, and he had the biggest teeth. Peter Pan's teeth were so large and white that when he open his mouth to indulge on some CatNip he nearly blinded anyone who was in the room. His teeth were so big that when he opened his mouth large and bulky he couldn't even run. Peter Pan turned into a lazy cat with the huge white teeth. When Peter Pan went to the vet it took 9 people to clean his teeth! However no one knew that Peter Pan's teeth were soo large because he had been eating too many chocolate cookies. So one day his owner walked in and saw a huge stash of chocolate cookies hiding behind his litter box. So the owner grabbed the cookies and at that moment Peter Pan's teeth SHRUNK exponentially. And the cat with super large teeth was no more.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a shaman named Patawako, and he had the the most hangared teeth. Although his hygiene wasn't the best, he was still a great leader. On the outside Patawako looked very scary and had crazy tribal paint on his body and bones in his hair. Althought his appearance wasn't the most appealing his soul was none to be reckoned with. Patawako grew up in a small village in central Africa and did many brave and courageous acts for his people. He grew up with little and had a much different life than any of us. He was never privileged enough to go to a dentist or doctor, but he lived with what he had and was grateful. These things never mattered to him, Patawako cured his own people and performed man religious ceremonies for the tribe. Patawako stayed with his tribe and grew up to be a great shaman leader for his village, but his appearance is the last thing anyone will remember.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a girl named Enamel and she had the most perfect teeth. She was about ten years old and took care of her teeth very well. Her parents made sure she brushed twice a day and flossed. Sometimes she would brush even after a small snack. Soon enough, Enamel had a really bad habit of over brushing her teeth until she experienced her first Halloween celebration. Her parents were reluctant to send her to a party where chocolate and sugar candies were devoured every second. However, they trusted Enamel to make the right decisions. Once she reached the party, she saw a bowl of chocolate and decided to try her first bite of cocoa in her entire life. The next thing you know, Enamel finished the entire bowl, and the three bowls next to it. Enamel loved her chocolate and soon enough she began to sneak chocolate into her room. Her parents never suspected a thing until she went to her dentist appointment. "Enamel, what happened to your teeth?" exclaimed the dentist. Enamel had cavities on four of her molars. She also had gingivitis because she didn't floss or brush her teeth after eating chocolate. Enamel and her parents were disappointed. Enamel realized that eating candy and chocolate wasn't always a bad thing. However, you must eat it in moderation and always clean your teeth afterwards. The dentist appointment changed Enamel as she began to both brush and eat chocolate in moderation. Enamel and her perfect teeth lived happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a sad panda named Paul, and he had the most nonexistent teeth. He did not know why his teeth were so small but all the other pandas teased him so. Paul cried and cried all day and all night causing him to gain his name “sad panda”. Paul tired all sort of ways to cover up his insignificant teeth. He used all sorts of fake teeth, anything he could use to fill the ginormous gap in his mouth. One day Paul the sad panda stood over a fountain letting his tears drain into it. He cried and cried until the fountain was almost filled and when the water hit the top of the well and the fountain started to light up. Paul did not realize at the moment because his tears were blocking his eyes from vision. As soon as he say a glimpse of the glowing fountain a bouncing rabbit dressed in a tutu wearing a tiara was flowing in his face. “Why these big elephant tears?” asked the rabbit. Paul was flabbergasted and confused and couldn’t speak a word. The rabbit winked and smiled at the sad panda and waved her wand and said “you have nothing to worry about because you are perfect”. Paul tried to respond but as soon as he opened his mouth he woke up from a dream. Paul sat up in his bed and rushed to the mirror and saw his mouth was filled with giant pearly teeth. Sad panda Paul was no more after that moment he became Pearly Paul.
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